I began writing this blog around four months ago now.
At the time, I didn't really know how long I'd be able to keep it up. Okay, I've been doing this for a class so I've had to keep it up but that doesn't mean that I thought I'd be able to. Yet I've found that I've actually been able to learn a lot about the disabled community and that throughout the years; I've actually learned things through my own experiences.
At the time, I didn't really know how long I'd be able to keep it up. Okay, I've been doing this for a class so I've had to keep it up but that doesn't mean that I thought I'd be able to. Yet I've found that I've actually been able to learn a lot about the disabled community and that throughout the years; I've actually learned things through my own experiences.
With this blog, I've wanted to raise awareness about what it's like to live with a disability. I could've shared all sorts of medical studies and facts about different disabilities but would you have really come away from my blog feeling enlightened?
What's more important to me and frankly, more interesting to me, about anyone that has a disability is how they live their life. As I've said in a roundabout way before: The person has the disability. The disability does NOT have the person. The disability is a part of who that person is. It is not ALL they are. Disabled individuals are just as complex as anyone else.
One of my favorite novels is Paper Towns by John Green.
The novel follows a senior in high school named Quentin Jacobsen, who has been in love his whole life with the girl-next-door, Margo Roth Spiegelman. They were friends growing up but over the years, they drifted away while his feelings for her did not.
She falls in with the popular crowd and Quentin falls in with the band geeks. Margo frequently parties and pulls elaborate pranks with the "cool kids" and frequently runs away from home. Quentin, on the other hand, plays videogames and stays home on Friday nights to work on his latest honors English paper. Needless to say, Quentin thinks Margo has a more interesting life.
The novel follows a senior in high school named Quentin Jacobsen, who has been in love his whole life with the girl-next-door, Margo Roth Spiegelman. They were friends growing up but over the years, they drifted away while his feelings for her did not.
She falls in with the popular crowd and Quentin falls in with the band geeks. Margo frequently parties and pulls elaborate pranks with the "cool kids" and frequently runs away from home. Quentin, on the other hand, plays videogames and stays home on Friday nights to work on his latest honors English paper. Needless to say, Quentin thinks Margo has a more interesting life.
To make a long story short, Margo runs away from home for good and, at least in the beginning, Quentin thinks she's on some grand adventure like she always is. This time is different.
Margo leaves behind clues regarding her whereabouts for Quentin to find and once he does, he is quickly lead on a great adventure. An adventure that teaches him how much he has misjudged Margo.
Margo leaves behind clues regarding her whereabouts for Quentin to find and once he does, he is quickly lead on a great adventure. An adventure that teaches him how much he has misjudged Margo.
No, Quentin doesn't find out that Margo is a part of some terrorist organization that's going to take over the world. What he does find out is this:
"The fundamental mistake I had always made—and that she had, in fairness, always led me to make—was this: Margo was not a miracle. She was not an adventure. She was not a fine and precious thing. She was a girl.”
Why was this an important lesson for Quentin to learn and how does it tie into what I've been writing about the last few months? It's simple really. Everyone is, at the same time, more complex and less complex than we make them out to be. Everyone is human and no human is one-dimensional.
I touched on this idea a few weeks ago but it bears repeating. Everyone deserves the chance to have genuine life experiences regardless of their abilities or their limitations. Part of having a well-lived life is having people to share it with.
I stated in my first blog, that being able to foster genuine relationships with people can be difficult for someone like me because of the stigmas associated with having a disability.
Upon first meeting me, some people cannot seem to separate the wheelchair from who I am as a person. They have preconceived notions about my cognitive abilities. These notions lead them to treat me a certain way, child-like, usually. Sure, when I begin to speak, they bring it down a notch. Yet then, the condescension in their voices is usually replaced by surprise.
Surprise that I can talk or that I'm not institutionalized (which yes, was a sad reality for many people back in the '50s).
Throughout the years, this has really angered me and it has prevented me from being genuine with people, at least, until I'm absolutely comfortable with them.
If I feel like a person isn't automatically seeing me beyond the chair I am not likely to want to engage that person. The frustration and annoyance of talking to a person who I believe are internally judging me, based on false perceptions, is enough to deter me from many social situations. Which is a shame because then I don't get to know many different people.
Of course, it's not fair to put all of the blame on other people because if I want people to really know me, then I have to make the effort to present the most honest version of myself that I can. I cannot make snap judgments about a person. Especially, if I don't want them making snap judgments of me.
It's something that I think we ALL need to do better. We all need to try better to see each other for who we are and not based on lazy perceptions we have. These perceptions can be damaging and drive us further apart.
I stated in my first blog, that being able to foster genuine relationships with people can be difficult for someone like me because of the stigmas associated with having a disability.
Upon first meeting me, some people cannot seem to separate the wheelchair from who I am as a person. They have preconceived notions about my cognitive abilities. These notions lead them to treat me a certain way, child-like, usually. Sure, when I begin to speak, they bring it down a notch. Yet then, the condescension in their voices is usually replaced by surprise.
Surprise that I can talk or that I'm not institutionalized (which yes, was a sad reality for many people back in the '50s).
Throughout the years, this has really angered me and it has prevented me from being genuine with people, at least, until I'm absolutely comfortable with them.
If I feel like a person isn't automatically seeing me beyond the chair I am not likely to want to engage that person. The frustration and annoyance of talking to a person who I believe are internally judging me, based on false perceptions, is enough to deter me from many social situations. Which is a shame because then I don't get to know many different people.
Of course, it's not fair to put all of the blame on other people because if I want people to really know me, then I have to make the effort to present the most honest version of myself that I can. I cannot make snap judgments about a person. Especially, if I don't want them making snap judgments of me.
It's something that I think we ALL need to do better. We all need to try better to see each other for who we are and not based on lazy perceptions we have. These perceptions can be damaging and drive us further apart.
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